Nervous System Regulation: Finding Calm in a Busy World

Do you find it hard to truly relax? Does your body seem to be on constant alert, even when there is no immediate threat? Do you swing between feeling wired and feeling exhausted? Are you easily startled, or do you sometimes feel emotionally numb?

These experiences point to your nervous system - the master control system that determines how you respond to the world. And for many of us, this system has become stuck in patterns that no longer serve us.

Your Two Modes

Your autonomic nervous system operates largely outside your conscious control, managing essential functions like heart rate, digestion, breathing, and stress responses. It has two main branches:

The sympathetic nervous system is your activating branch - the gas pedal. When it is engaged, your body mobilises for action: heart rate increases, breathing quickens, blood flows to muscles, digestion slows, and stress hormones are released. This is often called fight-or-flight mode.

The parasympathetic nervous system is your calming branch - the brake. When it is dominant, your body shifts into rest-and-digest mode: heart rate slows, breathing deepens, digestion activates, and repair processes engage.

In a healthy, regulated nervous system, you can move fluidly between these states as circumstances require. You can activate when you need energy and action, then return to calm when the challenge passes.

The problem is that many of us have become stuck in sympathetic dominance - our gas pedal is always pressed. Or we swing between extremes without the smooth transitions of a well-regulated system.

Why Nervous Systems Get Stuck

Several factors can dysregulate your nervous system:

Chronic stress keeps you in sympathetic activation too long. Your system adapts to this as the new normal, making it harder to access calm even when stressors decrease.

Past trauma can leave lasting imprints on your nervous system. Your body may continue responding to present situations as if past threats still exist.

Lack of safety - whether physical, emotional, financial, or relational - keeps your threat detection system activated.

Poor sleep, blood sugar instability, inflammation, and gut issues all affect nervous system function. The body and brain are not separate.

Constant stimulation from devices, news, and the pace of modern life provides little opportunity for your system to downshift.

Signs of Nervous System Dysregulation

When your nervous system is stuck in sympathetic dominance, you might experience:

• Difficulty relaxing, always feeling "on"
• Anxiety or a sense of impending doom
• Insomnia or restless sleep
• Racing thoughts
• Being easily startled
• Shallow breathing
• Digestive issues
• Tension in neck, shoulders, or jaw
• Difficulty sitting still

Some people swing to the other extreme - dorsal vagal shutdown (part of the parasympathetic system associated with freeze or collapse responses):

• Numbness or disconnection
• Depression or low motivation
• Fatigue and lethargy
• Difficulty engaging with life
• Dissociation or feeling "not in your body"
• Social withdrawal

Many people oscillate between these states without spending much time in the regulated middle ground.

The Vagus Nerve: Your Pathway to Calm

The vagus nerve is the main nerve of your parasympathetic system, running from your brainstem through your face, throat, heart, and into your gut. It is the physical pathway for the rest-and-digest response.

Vagal tone refers to how effectively your vagus nerve functions. Higher vagal tone means you can recover from stress more quickly and access calm more easily. The wonderful thing is that vagal tone can be improved through practise.

Practices for Nervous System Regulation

You cannot think your way out of nervous system dysregulation - you have to work with the body directly. Here are evidence-based approaches:

Breath Work

Your breath is the most accessible doorway to your nervous system because it is both automatic and under voluntary control.

• Extended exhale breathing: When your exhale is longer than your inhale, you activate the parasympathetic response. Try inhaling for 4 counts and exhaling for 6-8 counts.
• Physiological sigh: Two quick inhales through the nose followed by a long exhale through the mouth. This is your body's natural calming mechanism.
• Slow, deep belly breathing: Breathing that expands your belly (not just your chest) activates the diaphragm and the vagus nerve.

Cold Exposure

Brief cold exposure - a cold shower, cold water on your face, or even holding ice cubes - activates the vagus nerve and can shift you out of sympathetic activation. Start gently and build tolerance gradually.

Humming, Singing, and Gargling

The vagus nerve runs through your throat, and these activities stimulate it directly. Even 2-3 minutes of humming can shift your nervous system state.

Movement

Gentle, rhythmic movement (walking, swimming, rocking) is calming. More vigorous exercise can help burn off excess stress hormones. Both support nervous system regulation.

Social Connection

Your nervous system is designed to be regulated in connection with others. Safe, attuned relationships - even brief positive interactions - activate your calming response. This is called co-regulation.

Time in Nature

Natural environments have a documented calming effect on the nervous system. Even looking at nature imagery helps, though being actually outside is more powerful.

Body-Based Practices

Yoga, tai chi, qigong, and somatic therapies work directly with the body-nervous system connection. These practises teach your system new patterns through physical experience.

Orienting to Safety

Consciously noting that you are safe in the present moment - looking around, naming objects, feeling your feet on the floor - can help your nervous system recognise that the current environment is not threatening.

Building a Regulated System

Nervous system regulation is not about forcing yourself to be calm. It is about building capacity - expanding your ability to handle activation without becoming overwhelmed, and improving your ability to return to baseline after stress.

This happens through consistent practise over time. Your nervous system learned its current patterns, and it can learn new ones. But just as you cannot become physically fit from one workout, you cannot reset your nervous system with one breathing exercise.

Incorporate regulating practises into your daily life:

• Start and end your day with a few minutes of intentional breathing
• Take brief movement breaks throughout the day
• Build in moments of connection
• Create transitions between activities rather than rushing from one to the next
• Notice and respond to signs that your system is becoming dysregulated

When to Seek Support

If your nervous system dysregulation stems from trauma, working with a trained professional can be essential. Approaches like EMDR, somatic experiencing, and trauma-informed therapy work directly with the nervous system in ways that self-practice alone may not achieve.

You are not broken if self-regulation practises are not enough. Some nervous system patterns require guided support to shift.

Your Birthright

Calm, groundedness, and resilience are your natural states - they have just become obscured by layers of stress and adaptation. Your nervous system wants to find balance. With consistent support, it can.

Learning to regulate your nervous system is not self-indulgence. It affects every aspect of your health, your relationships, and your capacity to show up fully in your life. It may be one of the most important skills you can develop.

Want to explore related topics? Learn about stress and cortisol, understand anxiety from a functional perspective, or explore the gut-brain connection.